and it's coming closer
by indigochiiild
Summary: Series of snippets following the Sole Survivor Sadie Day coping with the loss of her husband and finding comfort in the strangest places. Non-descript appearance for the purpose of reader immersion, name is only mentioned briefly. F!Sole Survivor x John Hancock slow burn. UNDER CONSTRUCTION.
1. Chapter 1

He'd taken his shift not too long ago, his hat cocked upwards in an effort to keep his eyes up and aware. The fire crackled before him, embers dancing upwards as the clouds passed over the stars. Everything was uncharacteristically quiet. Except her.

He glanced down at her beside him, her hair falling over her doll-like face as he noted she was already off in a dream. Sleeping came easy to her, which he envied in his own passive way - the fact that she didn't need chems to dose off was truly a gift. He wondered for a moment what went through her head as she let out little sighs and soft noises, what she even dreamt of - this woman out of time.

A few moments later, he got his answer. A name he'd never heard before. "Nate..." her brow furrowed in confusion, she shifted restlessly and hugged herself tighter. He exhaled softly so as not to wake her up. Ever since he first laid eyes on her, he knew she was a widow - he had a knack for reading people pretty well, especially women. The ring on her finger and the one matching worn around her neck under her armor, the way she responded to people complimenting her physique, and the way she would laugh off his flirtations and lightly direct the conversation to more pressing matters without completely shutting him down. All signs indicating she was still emotionally married - even if the husband was long gone.

Once when they had stopped for the night in Sanctuary she told him to rest up while she worked on modifying her favorite energy weapons, yet when he awoke she was nowhere to be found. He looked around the town, not wanting to entertain the idea that she'd left without him because what the hell was he supposed to do now? Preston had no idea where she'd gone, hadn't seen her and offered to help the ghoul look.

Eventually they found her in her old house, in her sons old room, laying on the cold dusty floor holding the sheet of his baby blue crib to her bosom. Tears streamed down her sleeping face as a recording played on repeat. A deep masculine voice, "hi honey", amidst some cooing baby sounds. Preston and he exchanged a look, a knowing look, and led the other away from the scene.

"Mmm..." she moaned, content in her own dream, and Hancock found his eyes wandering back over to her. Her smooth cheeks, her puffy lips, long dark eyelashes dancing across her skin. He'd be lying if he said he didn't find her beautiful, he was sure everyone with eyes could see that. She had this... energy about her when she walked into a place, like it was hers for the taking. She always knew what to say and when to say it, had an even better knack for reading people than he did.

Yet she was such a do-gooder, too. Had a strong moral code and a fiery tongue when she needed it. People he met often had moral codes, whether strong or not it wasn't uncommon, but never would they act on it like she did. Told that Brotherhood doctor to fuck off when she was asked if she'd ever slept with a ghoul before. Later that same day she punched an initiate for making a nasty comment about him, he could physically feel the woman's nose break. She stared down the other initiates and knights in the room and proclaimed loudly "if you're going to make a shitty comment about my friend then I'm going to give you a shitty broken nose."

He grinned stupidly at the memory and lit his cigarette, taking a slow drag off it and looked up into the night.

 _He'd never been so into a woman before._


	2. Chapter 2

They'd just passed through the gates of Diamond City when the storm rang off in the distance. It was looking to be the biggest storm she'd yet seen in the Commonwealth. Sadie looked from Hancock to Dogmeat with a fear in her eye but didn't vocalize the insecurity she was feeling, instead deciding to press on. _Maybe it wouldn't be so bad... maybe they would reach Goodneighbor before it would hit._

She could feel Hancock about to tell her that they could stay in Diamond City but frankly she was having none of that. She saw the way the guards looked at him following closely behind her, knew if they ever had a chance to get him alone they would rough him up and throw him out like a wild animal. Deciding that was a stupid option, she got out her Righteous Authority and crouched down in an effort to silence him before he could speak.

The storm drew closer and closer, sparks of radiation slamming into the ground all around them. Dogmeat was scared, kept whimpering anytime a loud flash would resound around them, but she tried to ignore it as much as possible. She could tell Hancock was covering the rear of the trio, could also tell he still had something to say. Call it what you want; energy, aura, mood, what have you... something always shifted when he was deep in thought. She just knew.

By the estimate on her Pip Boy, it had been a little over a good five months since she wandered into Goodneighbor with Kellogg's clothes and pistol at her side, a red bandana covering her face. Blood stained her pants where she'd made a bloody mess of some raiders on her way in, yet she watched Hancock make quick work of killing the man with surprise.

"You killed him!" He'd chuckled, "You have good eyes."

A loud crash jarred her back to reality, the storm had finally hit them and it was as bad as she expected. The moment a stroke of lightning landed not six feet away from them was the moment she gave up ignoring the ghoul. "We need shelter," she said loudly over the thunderous call. He sighed and motioned for a building to the left a ways. Lightning was falling in rapid succession all around by the time they made it, kicking in the door to a creaking old building. Three radroaches emerged, which Dogmeat made quick work of. She'd been training him to attack any bloatflies or radroaches on site so she wouldn't have to. Something about giant bugs still freaked her out, no matter how desensitized to this new world she became every day.

Once they'd cleared the area, they set up camp near the front entrance of the building. She had pulled the mattress towards their designated camping area and was dusting off the mattress when he finally broke the silence. "We could have stayed in Diamond City."

She laughed bitterly. "Yeah, and had you get the shit kicked out of you when I wasn't looking? No thanks."

"You don't need to protect me, I've gotten far enough on my own. I think I can handle a couple asshole Diamond city guards." She didn't say anything, just kept dusting off the mattress hastily. She could feel him watching her but she told herself she didn't care.

"What's this really about, hmm?"

Sadie pointedly dropped the mattress she'd been cleaning, frustrated with him even though he'd done nothing wrong. " _Nothing_ , ok?" He gave her a look, it made her feel even worse.

Sadie struggled with her pride for another moment as they glared at each other before finally sighing. She backed up against a wall and slid down, he joined her and mimicked the same motion, eyes staring ahead at the opposite wall. The room grew silent save for the raging storm outside. "I'm just... so tired," she began, not even knowing where to begin. He reached into his pocket and handed her a mentat, and normally she wouldn't care enough to do any drugs other than Med-X in a fight but goddammit she needed something. She exhaled a breath she didn't even realize she'd been holding in, smiled despite herself and took it from him, which seemed to make him happy.

She popped the pill and sighed, "I haven't had my period in months."

Everything seemed to still, quiet as they stared at each other dead in the eyes until finally he was the first to laugh. She joined in and it seemed to get funnier the more the sentence hung in the air. Through laughs he smiled at her with a quizzical brow, "You thinking of getting yourself knocked up? Can't say the wasteland is the perfect place to raise a kid," She smiled and shook her head, her soft hair bouncing with the sway.

"No, nothing like that. It's just..." she remembered what was wrong and brought her knees up to her chest. "I don't think I'm ever going to have kids again. Nate and I... we always talked about giving Shaun a little sister or brother to play with, it was a goal of ours that we tried again and again to see happen but... now I'll never have that option."

Hancock was silent beside her, clearly digesting what she was saying. She felt a lump in her throat but there were no tears. She'd cried a lot the first couple months and now it seemed very rare. She thought about them every day, her little family and what she'd lost, but she'd... changed somehow. Hardened up. She figured killing raiders and mutated creatures every day would do that to you.

She started picking at her bottom lip and offered a nervous smile, "I don't know, pragmatically it's probably just silly to think about-"

"No it's not." They looked into each others eyes then, and her anxieties seemed to fade. The moment hung between them as they stared into each other, but it wasn't unpleasant. She smiled at him, the most genuine smile she could muster, and then impulsively rest her head softly on his shoulder, somehow knowing that this moment was very rare and she needed to savor it for as long as he'd let her. She sighed out contentedly, "thank you, Hancock."

And though his first reaction was to tense, she felt him smile softly, resting his head gently against hers, "anything for you, sister."


End file.
